How to spend your birthday alone.

HaaaEEEE! šŸ™‚

Today is my birthday and, unfortunately for me, I am alone. And as sad as this sounds, noh, it’s actually not very sad; i.e once you get past the fact that it’s an unfortunate or depressing thing to be alone.

It was depressing at first. Really. I had only the voices of my friends and family to cheer me up, no birthday presents sent from far away, noĀ surprises at my doorstep, no birthday cake.

But the thing is once your done dwelling on theĀ negative and the unfairness, you realize that the lack of justice in the world gives rise to many many wonderful opportunities*. And by the time you’re done with the day, you’ve found the superhero in you and justice prevails.

Sure, it was the people, the presents, the surprises, the things people did to make you happy that kept you happy and made you feel a little more special thanĀ usual. But deep down you know that every birthday you’ve spent on this earth was a gift in itself and, even if some birthdays seemed like a struggle, it was always YOU that made you feel more than special. YOU woke up in the morning with a smile on your face, YOU shivered in delight as you walked down the stairs, YOU conjured up that glow inside of yourself every birthday and YOU, my friend, wished on the stars with the confirmed notion that those wishes would really come true. A lot of people said they wouldn’t but YOUĀ believedĀ in the magic of birthdays, YOU BELIEVED.

And it didn’t take anyone but yourself to do it.

Birthdays are the most magical and special days of people’s lives. Every birthday is a reminder that you’re alive. You have the chance to smell the sky (even if it does smell of excess oil and chinese food courts) and bathe yourself in sunshine. You have the chance to feel, to express and to experience the beauty of life around you. It’s a day to be thankful, because no matter how deep a gutter you’re in, you’re still alive and that gives you the chance to do what you need to do, to say what you need to say, to feel what you need to feel and to find happiness. It gives you a chance to be ALIVE.

It wasn’t so bad, this birthday. My friend told me, even before the day began, that this would be a learning experience.

Nope, I didn’t learn how to spend a birthday ALONE. I was surrounded by life. Even if the birthday wishes came from the internet and from phone calls, they still came. Even though the surprises and the presents were blogs and videos, they came. They weren’t physical objects I could touch but they touched me. They made me smile, laugh and giggle. They picked me up.

I didn’t learn to spend a birthday alone because I learnt how to spend a birthday differently. Differently from most normal birthdays.

The other thing that made my day by the way, was the fact that I visited the zoo, yes on my own. I GOT A FREE PASS! BECAUSE IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY! AND A BADGE! AND FREE ICE-CREAM AND DISCOUNT IN THE ZOO SHOP( which I didn’t use :p).

 

Wild Birthday Badge!

Thank you, Krishna. For the blog, for the time, for the artwork, for you. For being my PORILLA BEAR. šŸ™‚

Thank you Annie, for being the irritating bugger that you were last night and picking me up. Thanks for being a bit of a jackass and you are getting yourself beaten up by a little girl when I visit in December. Be prepared. šŸ˜‰

*Yes, Annie, I stole that line from our inboxes. BECAUSE I LIKED IT. Because I have ownership over it. Pooh.

Thank you Ankur, Arshiii (SHA SHA), Kiki and Annie, for the video. YES IT MADE ME LAUGH MY FACE OFF XD.

I LOUWE YOU ALL!

Happy Birthday to me! šŸ™‚

And anyone else who’s birthday it is! šŸ™‚

YOU MUST NOT FORGET TO MAKE A WISH! XO

It’s blue and vast and it separates us.

Phone calls used to end with smiles. They used to end with smiles.

They used to end with us holding our phones against our chests and smiling. There would be days when those smiles would fade into laughter at silly yetĀ meaningfulĀ conversations which would then fade into deep thoughts and … smiles.

Life never stopped moving. The funny littleĀ roller-coastersĀ on which we were seated met somewhere along the way, shared tracks and moved along together. We stretched out our hands slowly and tentatively to embrace something new, something we knew existed but had never experienced. Perhaps, something we might have expected or hoped for. Or wished for?

The tracks took us up, took us down and took us in little hoops too. Along the way, we were joined by other roller-coasters and those that were already with us slowed down and sped up. We went this way and that way and as long as we were on the same tracks we always knew how to find each other. When the sun set into a roller-coaster low, we would raise the tracks to the sky, with what magic we possessed together. It’s a powerful kind of magic. The kind that lone stars shine for. The kind that makes the light around the moon do funny things. The kind that makes the wind soft and warm. The kind of magic… that sets your roller coaster aglow.

And when the tracks dived into water we were two specks floating in it. “You’re that speck in the water and I’m that speck in the water… we’ll always be together.”

And then life moved on, onto new tracks. Two separate tracks. Your hand seems very far away now. And it has become harder to find you in this new mess.

We call it distance. The volume of water has suddenly increased. I find myself slowly drowning.

When the sun sets on a roller-coaster low, there isn’t enough magic in me to raise up the tracks into the sky, nor enough strength to hold myself above the surface. When I try, somewhere along the way the pillars break and it seems harder now to lift them back up again. I’m only one, a little one.

There are times when we still reach out, shout over the noise of our roller-coaster wheels against the tracks and perhaps there is a chance of a smile. But friction and speed pull us further away. There is frustration in your voice and hopelessness in mine.

Touching your hand would make it all better. It would set the tracks aglow and we’d raise them up higher to the stars.

The little pond has grown into an ocean and the two specks, though still connected, find themselves floating away.

Phone calls, now, don’t always end in smiles.

And I almost never see your smiling face.

I cannot touch your hand.

You and Me.

Little India.

Hai.

Less words, more pics.

My class. Class AAT1A.

Them.

Little birds.

Shy ones.

 

Tweet.

And just as we were leaving, magic happened.

Magic golden sunshine.

PS. I got a new cammy, šŸ˜‰ Promise to upload some pics soon. šŸ™‚

Bai now. šŸ™‚